[Gospelchristianity] Hello, Feelings, How are you?

[asuecleaver at aol.com]

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....."Behold, the ships, though they are so great and are driven by strong winds, are still directed by a very small rudder, wherever the inclination of the pilot desires.  So also the tongue is a small part of the body, and yet it boasts of great things.  Behold, how great a forest is set aflame by such a small fire!!!  And the tongue is a fire, the very world of iniquity; the tongue is set among our members as that which defiles the entire body, and sets on fire the course of our life, and is set on fire by hell......with it we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in the likeness of God; from the same mouth come blessing and cursing.  My bretheren, these things ought not to be this way.  Does a fountain send out from the same opening both fresh and bitter water?  Can a fig tree, mhy bretheren, produce olives, or a vine produce figs?  Neither can salt water produce fresh.
- James Ch. 3 (paraphrased) -
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"Out of the overflow of the heart, the mouth speaks"
- Somewhere in Psalms or Proverbs -
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Sons and Daughters of God,

I share this in confidence to the small group.......

I sinned publicly last night during the small group (after the bible study), so I think it is appropriate to confess and repent publicly.

I sinned against my wife and dishonored her.

I sinned against God the Father and dishonored Him with my unbelief and need for control.

There was a small circle of people there during the situation and I frankly do not remember who all was there, or who all was in earshot around me, so I will address this to everyone.

The situation was basically that my glorious wife, Sue, was in the kitchen sharing with a circle of brothers and sisters how hard her week was and she made a statement about some sources of stressors, naming one of them that I am "going into business."

I somewhat forcefully responded "No I'm not, don't tell people that."  I then proceeded to clarify my point and defend my point saying that I haven't even begun to obtain money for the business, that I do not have an exit strategy, and that I haven't yet narrowed it down to one option, that I haven't.....BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH.BLAH, BLAH, BLAH.BLAH, BLAH, BLAH.BLAH, BLAH, BLAH.BLAH, BLAH, BLAH.BLAH, BLAH, BLAH.

Immediately, I was cut to the heart, realizing what I just defecated out of my mouth and the state of my heart regarding the topic of "going into business."

So I want to first confess and repent before you and God my disrespect towards my lovely wife, Sue

To her credit, once we were home, she realized the festering wound underneath my words and began to minister to me.  I realized that I had been "holding God back" from this business venture, that I was keeping a good measure of control with this.  I would speak to people nonchalantly about the venture, saying that I hadn't started acquiring the funding, that I didn't have an exit strategy, etc.  And when Sue said I AM going into business, my glass house of control shattered!

So here is my next confession that I must repent for....unbelief in God's hand in what is happening.  You see, since the end of 2008, and various milestones between then and now, and very specifically something Holy Spirit spoke in to me when I was at the Bushido camp is that I AM going into business, as a growing and refining process, and a chance to expand His kingdom!  That He is going to take me down paths I do not want to go, to mold me into the image of Christ, to magnify Christ in my body and in my weakness, so that He will be glorified for His name's sake!  This is a long story that I won't elaborate on in this email.  Suffice it to say that I kept this revelation to myself and Sue exclusively, not even sharing it with my business partner.  And it has been killing me.  I didn't even know, but it has been killing me, bringing death to my heart and soul.

The awesome thing is that God is good and He is Sovereign and He took my wounds and did a mighty work!  I take you to Genesis 45: 5-8, referencing back to the story of Joseph.  He tells his brothers not to grieve themselves, for they meant it for evil, but God turned that evil into good, and that God sent Joseph ahead of them.

So, while I was running this morning, God did a mighty work in my heart, turning my evil into good.  For without this wound exposed, I wouldn't have been searching for healing.

While on the run, the events of last night swept back upon me like a mighty river, throwing me into despair.  It was at that time that Holy Spirit downloaded into my heart an awesome revelation!

He spoke into me, "Do you see this wound, this despair?  I am Sovereign over it and I brought this forth so that the infection can be cleansed and the wound of your unbelief will now be healed.  Remember from where I have brought you, your corruption, your anxiety, your suicidal tendencies, your immaturity, your cheap, selfish grabs for what is yours.  I have delivered you from this!  I HAVE DONE IT.  Remember the parable of the talents.  It is time to multiply what has been given.  Time to bury your grain of wheat, so that it will sprout and reproduce itself many times over.  And now, with this business venture, remember, whether you think you can obtain the finances, or come up with a dazzling exit strategy, or analyze all the risks, or come up with the perfect business plan, it is not you that will reap the harvest of your labors.  You haven't done it in the past, nor in the future, it is my hand upon you that has delivered your increase.  So remember this now and never forget it: I HAVE GIVEN IT -- I WILL MULTIPLY IT!!!!!!!"

So I proceeded to run along the road, weeping and praising God, Jesus, and Holy Spirit for His goodness, probably looking like a total fool to passers-by, but totally free in His mighty revelation!

At that moment, I had full confidence that God is going to deliver me into this, for His glory!

So I speak to you now, sons and daughters of God, so you can participate in God's mighty working and adventure in this situation, that I AM going to pursue this business venture with everything that I am....I AM going into business!  I am not meant to experience this alone, or with just my wife.  I don't have the skills, the wisdom, the knowledge, the resources, the experience to do this.  It shouldn't happen.  So when it happens, it will be a miracle of God, and I want you to participate in His handiwork!  I don't want to wait until it happens and then look back and tell you how God worked, I want you to participate in His unfolding plan RIGHT NOW!

So I confess before you and repent of my unbelief, I look to the heavens and say, "WHERE DOES MY HELP COME FROM?"  And the heavens ring out the answer with God's glorious message that we lean not on our own understanding, but in the fear and Soverienty of the Triune God!

So on to it then; BLOODY AND GLORIOUS!!!!

HE HAS GIVEN IT -- HE WILL MULTIPLY IT!!!!

- Aaron -
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